Ever notice how that break, that slow down, is seemingly always "just around the corner," but you never quite get to the corner? It's like the restroom they promised my sister K when she was oh, 2 or 3, and driving (and driving and driving) through the desert to the lights of the city "just up ahead." Poor kid held it in for hours....
So here I am, another late night at work (OK procrastinating or taking a break, I admit it), wondering where the slow down is? I have enough work to keep me busy 24/7 through at least next wednesday - and after that (or during that? can't figure it) the bosses want me to go to another conference where I can continue to hone my client development skills. Sigh. I thought I was done traveling. Well, the motions practice comes first, as I'm taking the lead. So we'll see if the travel even happens.
And November was supposed to be (and historically has been) s-l-o-w. HA!~ Funny. At least the kids are with Dad for a couple days, so no one is missing me at home. That's a silver lining....
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There's a hill out there. You're climbing it. You get to the top of the hill because that's the promised "We'll coast when we get to the top!" peak, only to discover that the local hill was blocking the view of a mountain ridge. You start off climbing that. After lots of effort and work, you crest it, only to discover that you go down for a bit before heading up to an even higher peak. The ridge blocked your view of that.
Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Only you get to decide how high you want to climb, but remember, there's always another ridge that you only see after you hit the top of the current local maxima.*
On one hand, it's good that it's your choice to keep climbing. Lots of people don't get that option. On the other hand, at some point, you might decide that the current ridge is worth exploring and head off to explore the stream that carves the canyon below it, rather than climbing the next ridge, because you know what's beyond it without ever having seen it.
And LOL, re K and the desert bathroom trip. Her best memory of the trip, or just the best story? My ILs live in AZ in a tiny town that's a ways out of town and you can go quite a way between potties or even trees that give you enough privacy by the side of the road...
Hang in there!
*Whoops, sorry, math geekiness surfaced, I mean the current bump that is all that stands between you and the "We'll be coasting soon" point...
Oh so well said Cousin. Except I don't really have a choice in these hills. It's work, or well, go home. Permanently. But yes, I am still climbing and that's a good thing. I am not yet ready to stop climbing - the big decision that is coming is "do I go full time or part time next year?" I am getting close to "up for partner" and there's pressure for me to take on more. I can "make" partner part time, but it will take longer. And, with the kids at K's 1/2 time, if I work til midnight when they're at his house (which I have been doing b/c, well, why not) then I can "make" my full time hours, even leaving early when the kids are with me. Just not sure I want the pressure of having to "make" the hours. Better to go over (which, for example, I will do this year, as I will hit my target for YE, oh, next week...) than to miss a target. Decisions, Decisions - at least I have them, right?
I do so love your "lather, rinse, repeat." There's a lot of that going on!
And the K and desert bathroom story? She's convinced it scarred her for life. She revisited that story just the other day...
thanks for visiting - and commenting - I so love your blog and your girls (And S!) and your thoughts. You really are amazing!
There's a reason I don't live in Silicon Valley any more. It's not just DC-area Lawyers that face this lifestyle. I've never been on death-march projects, thank goodness, but I've seen 'em from the outside, and I know that the Silicon Valley lifestyle is very much "Which mountain are you climbing, and what altitude have you gained lately."
That's the main reason why we don't live there any more. It's not the environment I wanted to raise my kids in. Even if it was fun and great when I was single and when we didn't have kids.
I deliberately chose to stop working for a few years while the fry were small, being fortunate enough to be able to make that decision. And now that they're older, I'm only working part time (32 hrs), though my employer would be happy if I went FT. But I don't want to impact the family that much. Even if I'm working in the house, I'm still working, y'know? And I want to be able to volunteer with the kids's schools, get them to their activities, and be a part of their lives, especially since they're growing up so darn quick.
But finding that balance is tricky, especially in a world that gives beaucoup warm fuzzies and accolades to folks who focus on work, at least in my experience. I love writing software. I'm good at decomposing a big problem into the little features and herding a bunch of software developers into implementing it while missing no details. And then explaining and presenting it to folks who don't understand software
Life is simple and hard at the same time. It's a balancing act between being purpose-filled and open to different paths. Sometimes it works and sometimes I'm fighting it and shrieking at the kids to toe the line, and grumbling about what a PITA it is to be doing something or other.
IOW, real life is messy, and that's what makes us all human and real.
Glad you enjoy the blog. I'm out here on the forgotten left coast, and it's hard to keep in touch with everyone when the timezones are off and I'm squiring minions everywhere. The blog is the dinner-table conversation I can't have because everyone is going to bed long about the time we're sitting down to supper. Blogging lets it happen asynchronously.
I have been blessed to be at a firm where I can work part time and where they do seem to care. The division lead partner stopped by today to check on me and my hours - which he noticed were too high - and make sure everything was ok. He actually was trying to figure out how to help me work less and stick to my part time. Very cool guy (of course there was no short term solution, but at least they're paying attention!) And the balancing act is becoming a bit easier as the kids get older. Also with them only here 1/2 time I can let the work scales tip heavily to "non-kid" days. Yes, the whole mom/work thing is tough, but at least we have choices that the generation before us did not have. I have been able to go to most of the kids' event, sports, music, clubs. I have missed some, but in the grand scheme of things, I think it's all working out. Yes, I will still grumble when I work too many hours in a day/week. But that's the beauty of blogging - gripe and release!!!!
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