When the kids were really little, I had them convinced that I was 21. I drilled them daily to tell strangers and friends alike, if asked, that "mommy is 21." Eventually, we upped that to 25 or another well-balanced age for the age of my kids vs. having been pregnant at 12...
My favorite was when Sh surmised that I had to be 28 (I was, um, a few years older). She said, "I know you were married at 21. and we're 7. so you're 28." At that age, she thought, well, you can figure out what she thought. A, who knew better, thankfully kept quiet.
Well, now it's well known that I'm 40. I have embraced that. But I am NOT, I repeat NOT the mother of two sophomores in high school who are nearing 15 years old! Am I??? Can it be?? Why does that make me feel older than admitting my actual age?
Don't get me wrong - these are fab kids as my previous unabashed bragging posts have told you - kids who have the capacity for adult, grown up conversations, kids who read the newspaper and pay some attention to world events, kids who debate politics, kids who are unselfish and helpful. (fear not - we still have the run-of-the-mill bathroom humor take hold of the conversations quite often). But somehow realizing that yet another school year has gone by, yet another milestone has come to pass, makes me feel old. And a little sad.
Although I have never been one to wish they were little again - I have truly enjoyed every stage of their life (well, maybe certain parts of 3 were horrid) - it's still hard to see how time flies. Every year (these past few under duress) I take their photo on the first and last day of school: separate, together, and with the dog. Yes, If I can wrestle sh's camera from her and hook it up to my computer, I will post a few of them. And every year I cry after they leave/get on the bus on the first and last day of school. I'm happy for them - happy with them - proud of the people they are becoming. But do they have to become those people quite so fast???
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I too seek a time machine...back to the days where our little (BIG) ones were truly little...just for a moment though...I ask only for one more opportunity to have those chubby little arms flung around Mommy's neck and a little head burrowing in saying "I wuv you soooooo much Mommy". Then they can come back to their gangly teenage bony bodies.
Although luckily...I still get the chubby armed snuggly hugs from one of my two....and the I wuv yous are frequent....
I guess we are aging my dear cousin...a good thing in most cases, but bittersweet in others!
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